Little Drops and Kumari

 

The last two clowning days we visited three of the organisation Little Drops homes. (http://www.forlittledrops.org) They offer a home and care to people who has very little or no safety in life. Mentally challanged women, elderly and others are picked up from the streets and gets to stay at Little Drops facilities in and around Chennai, India. Our first day of visiting them in Chennai we got to see both their school, to meet the women who lives in their facilities and the elderly who are there for palliative care. This is where I met Kumari.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kumari is an old lady, she has difficulties walking and are living in a big dorm with approximately 30 other women. She has a wooden bed, a sheet, a blanket and a small bag with some clothes. When I first saw her she was sitting on her bed, and as I walked by her she looked at me with nice eyes. I asked with a nod and my bodylanguage if it was okay for me to enter her space. She nodded and mooved over so I could sit next to her on her sheet. After a while I understood that she knew a little english wich made us communicate quite easily. I looked at her hands, her beautiful wrinkly hands. She touched and put preassure on my arms, my legs and my hands as if she was massaging me. But mostly it felt like she was checking if I was real or not. After a while of holding each other and looking at each others arms and hands she said to me ”so white”. She thought I was so extremely white and pasty. It made both of us laugh, cause she was not the first one to think so.

 

As other clowns played music or walked past us she invited them ”in”. She was just as warm and welcoming to all of us! She loved the music and she had a blooming sence of humor. She laughed at all our silly faces and jokes. I sang to her some swedish songs and then I sang her the song Halleluja. When the chorus came she sang with me which got my heart dancing. Later I learned from some other clowns that a few of the residents had also been singing Halleluja, so they knew the song that had been accompanied me through this whole trip.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When I had to leave I took out my crayons and a blank sheet of paper. There we painted hearts together and I wrote that I love her and will miss her. I also gave her a Pluto soft animal that I had in my clownbag. I walked backwards all the way out of the hall, waving and sending her ”flying kisses” with my hands. My tears were falling nonstop, they just kept coming. The impact Kumari, a woman I just met had on me was amazing. I felt it as if I had just instantly fallen in love with her. I was so happy I had gotten to share that loving moment with her.

 

We all went on seeing other recidents. I had a great time with them as well, dancing, blowing up ballons to decorate their doorm with, just being. After an hour it was time for us to go, we had to go back and have lunch. I felt that I had to see Kumari one last time. I had to say goodbye to her! I ran back to the building she lived in, tried to hurry since we had to go. As I entered the doorway I stopped. They were having lunch and I wanted to make sure I wouldn´t disturb. One of the staffmembers saw me and her immediate reaction was to repeatedly say Kumaris name. She knew I was there for her. I walked in and glanced towards Kumari, she had seen me and was smiling. I walked (or ran, I can´t remember) over to her, told her ”I had to say goodbye one more time” then I hugged her and said ”I love you”. She held my face in her hands, both of our tears were falling but at the same time I had the biggest smile on my face. The Pluto and the painting I had given her she had put like an altar on her bag. She smiled, I kissed her one more time on the cheek and as I turned around she told me ” I love you”. I walked away for the last time, waving, sending ”flying kisses” and then I ran back to the other clowns.

 

It may seem as this is a made up or exaggerated story. It seems like in a moovie, and I agree, it does. But this is true, the connection and instant love I felt for Kumari is honest and real and are still warming my heart. I miss her and I wish I could go see her again. Maybe she will be there next year when I hopefully can go back but maybe she is no longer with us then. I hope for whatever is best for her. I will send her love in my thoughts and hope that she can feel it. I will never forget the care she expressed for me and I will never forget Kumari.